Midnight Ramblings, Can’t Sleep


So July 5 is the official date for our prelims.

The impending examination week really isn’t the issue here (according to self-centered me). Truth be told,  I always panic days before any test, nothing new about that.

The difference now lies in the fact that… well, that I’m actually doing something about it. I’m studying folks- really, I shit you not good sirs. With all the making-my-own-reviewer-from-my-own-notes shit.

Four days before the exam is quite pathetic to be proud of, I know, but give me some credit here.  For years, I’ve been that annoying classmate who borrows your notes and handouts seconds before the actual major examination. The one who, minutes prior, was lounging around beside you, trying to drag you down with me in my vortex of laziness while you do some serious learning.

Sometimes it works for me. Sometimes it doesn’t. In high school it worked pretty much 95 percent of the time. I got high grades without really ever doing anything, and I thought that was great. I thought that was awesome (well, tbh I still do). But in college it’s a 50-50 chance of surviving, and I don’t like that type of statistic.

Lo and behold, in my third year of college, I finally decided to push back on the academic pull. Better late than never.

It’s not like I’m just writing my study-stuff now. I reviewed for some quizzes and made some legit notes on them the past few weeks too. Okay, fine. By quizzes, I actually mean this one single quiz in tariff2. (Which I garner was from the pits of hell itself with the deceitful title of ‘quiz’ and a grand total of fifty items- I. state this whole provision II. state laws/provisions and explain III. (I forgot. Must be trauma blocking my memories.) IV. enumerate 15 agencies and the commodities they regulate)

I have to admit, it was refreshing to know the answers. Thrilling to try and remember what I studied- and actually grasping something, instead of the usual ‘oh lol wait, I didn’t actually study anything.’

But as you can see, I am momentarily side-tracked. (By momentarily, I mean 4 hours at max). I’m writing a blog post instead of continuing my new found path to noble student behavior. Procrastination. It’s coming back.

Maybe that’s why I’m making this blog post. To give myself a pat on the back. (Although it sounds like a whiny rant of me trying to convince myself and justify my behavior for the present and past few years.)

I’m well aware that what I’m doing is still not something to be overly proud of. I am, after all, just doing what I’m supposed to be doing- studying what my parents are paying for in this damned expensive university.

I guess I just need someone to recognize that I’m actually trying. Even if that someone is just going to be me.

Okay. Enough of that. I’ve dilly-dallied enough. Gotta go back to dem studies. (Also a half-lie; I’ll probably waste another fifteen minutes getting this blog post published, checking my social networking accounts, finding some food, adjusting the electric fan to a suitable angle, and then finally, settling down on my desk- only to find out my pen is missing thus invoking me to commence a room-wide search that will take me another five minutes.

Lord help me.)

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